Why do I choose to travel alone? I don’t

The last ten or so years has seen a steady increase in solo female travelers. Why? I’ve given this question a lot of thought in the few years since my divorce, but before I get into my thoughts on the subject, let me back up.

I am a child of the military, specifically the US Air Force. My dad flew in the backseat of an F-4 Phantom, the WSO (Weapons Systems Officer or for you Top Gun fans, he was Goose but without the tragic ending). I grew up in a lot of different places but always close to the flight line. At eight years old, I could identify the different jets just by the sound they made when flying over our house. We went to MANY air shows. I was born to love flying and we moved…often. I went to 11 different schools before graduating high school and then I went to 3 different colleges. My ex husband used to tell me he didn’t need a calendar because every six months I would rearrange the future in the whole house, because to me, it felt very odd to live in the same house for very long, I needed my space to feel new. Growing up, we never took vacations other than driving across the country to Arlington, TX for a few weeks in the Summer to visit family. While I spent my summer at my cousin’s house, my parents were busy moving us to a new state where I would start all over as the new kid. Growing up the way I did, made me brave. I have no trouble meeting new people, or trying new things and I am extremely grateful for that.

Once I got to college, all I knew was military, I had no idea as to what I wanted to do for a career, all I knew was that college looked like fun, so I went. The beginning of my second semester, I met my ex husband. He was an only child who grew up on a farm in East Tx, and he knew he wanted to be successful so he could get out of that little town and see the world. I was a dumb 19 year old who very wrongly believed he was the perfect guy. But I married him, and to this day I wouldn’t change that decision, only because I got the best part of him, Two incredible daughters and my son whom we adopted from Russia.

But my ex loved to travel. At first, I think he truly loved the adventure, but after a few years, for him it became a way to show off. He liked finding the coolest tours, helicopter ride from Vegas to the Grand Canyon, underground cave zip lining, private tour of Scottish castles, Thanksgiving weekend to the Bahamas, etc. He enjoyed the comments pi photos would elicit on social media posts. I admit, I benefited from this “quirk” of his. And then one day he left. Don’t misunderstand, I am thrilled that he did. But now here I am, a 50 year old empty nester, trying to figure everything out on a teacher salary.

So that’s me in a nutshell. And back to my thoughts on the question of “Why are so many more women traveling solo these days?” To put it simply, because we can. I spent my first 18 years following my parent’s rules, then the next 28 years following my ex’s rules. Now I get to make some of my own. And my rule number one, Keep doing what I love, see everything I want to see, experience as much as I can, and don’t wait around for someone to go with me. I don’t choose to travel solo, but if I have a want to go or see something new, and no one is able to accompany me, well then I’m not waiting.

In a few weeks, I am taking my daughter to San Fransisco for a long weekend. Watch this space for our Napa Valley, Chinatown, Alcatraz Island adventure. She was born with the same travel bug that I have, it’s going to be epic.